Hunger, Part the Sixth

CHAPTER 8

Where was her body?

I searched everywhere. Why would anyone or anything want a lifeless hollow sack? I didn’t know, but this benefitted me. I would have to discard her body, because I would have not been able to let it rot away and be eaten by animals.

She was gone, and I was left alone to ponder. I walked for that day. I did not eat. I did not rest. I finally sat down when the moon was highest and slept.

I woke up to hunger, so I ate. Then I bean to walk again, and this time I passed a town.

“DON’T YOU DIE.” “SUICIDE IS FOR QUITTERS” “THE DEAD ARE BLESSED.”

I had to hide from them that day. I found that it was easier o hide in a town, alone. I didn’t have to worry about someone else blowing my cover.

“I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

That was all they had to say today. I found myself actually disappointed by the insignificant conversation.



I had to find a meaning, a purpose. What was it anymore? I didn’t know. To live? To eat? To die?

I was ashamed of what I was. Who knew that I would become dull, and meaningless? Perhaps I was before, but at least I was distracted. My goal then was to find a purpose, and if I should fail, then I would kill myself. It was as simple as that.



It was probably four months into my meditation. I felt like I could almost taste my purpose. I knew it was there, hiding. One day, I was sitting by a stream, and I was sitting in lotus position. I had learned this from my sister.

It was obvious that I wouldn’t reach it that day, but every second of thinking made my purpose closer to me, so I caught a small fish and ate. That would be good enough for a while. While my mind wandered and wrapped itself around concepts that I tried to understand. I heard something. Something so quiet, that I would have never been able to hear it normally. Then I heard it again, and again, and again, more constantly and more loudly.

So I opened my eyes, and instantly the sound was gone. I dismissed it as an imagination of my sub-conscious. It had happened before, hearing things. While I was meditating I thought of a lot of things, and sometimes those things made sounds.

But this was different. It only took me three seconds to get back into my state of purpose-searching, and once that time was up, it came back. I opened my eyes once again, and it was gone. Something was still there. Voices.

I instantly hid. I had a purpose. I just didn’t know what it was.

“I smell someone.”

“You’re imagining things…”

“No, you’re just not paying attention.”

“Or maybe he’s trying to save a life.”

“Now now, I didn’t say that.”

“But I really do smell something.”

“Oh, now I do!” The hungry one laughed, “Don’t tell me that you can’t smell it.”

“I don’t smell a thing.” I rather liked this third one, at least compared to the others.

“You can starve, I’m going to eat” And then I remembered something that I forgot. I supposed that I hadn’t dirtied up for about twenty-seven days.

I felt a hand. They were obviously much closer than I thought they were, or faster.

They pulled me into an opening. That was that. I accepted that I didn’t have a purpose, and that god was showing me that the right thing to do was die. At least I understood.

“I’ve smelt this one before!”

“Yes… yes!” You’re the human who we smelled even before Hollywood! Now that I think about it, you were there too! You’ve been begging for death a long time, my boy.”

“And now you get it, you lucky, lucky boy!” I could see the one in the back. What I saw surprised me more than I’ve ever been. He was a child. His skin was as pale as the moon, and his hair was tied back in a pony-tail. His clothes were similar to what I was wearing, and he was looking away.

“Jon, you want some?” I wondered why they had to ask while I was still alive. For fun, or because the blood would “go bad.”

“Just do it.”

And so they began. There was actually no pain, until the venom crawled in. I started having convulsions, and then I decided to go into a trance. I tried to block it all out, and I succeeded. I felt no pain, but I heard something. Foot-steps.

“I SMELL BLOO-OOD!” Hissing and cackling could be heard even with my eyes open. Instantly I felt some kind of burden lift off me, and I was alone. Then the real pain came.

((May be awhile for more... Gotta type this shiz up. Well, krista does, and I have to finish. Sooooooooon the whole thing will be done! *squee* Please, someone but Madi post -_- Not that I don't want her too. I'll post it just for you Madi, but I might as well send you an e-mail!))