LOVE, LOVE, LOVE... Is that all you really need?
Well, from what I'm seeing around me this whole drama thing is becoming a battle field. Everyone is trying to survive. Most of the battles are silly if you ask me. Example: eighth grade dating. Alright, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it seems as if those popular guys and girls (the LEGITS we shall call them) handle it better than us geeks do to some degree. The Legits are usually allowed to date on a whim, so there's no parental pressure. There's no moral pressure, because they don't have the same sense of morality and responsibility as we do. They would ask anyone they want to ask out, and guess what, that works. For us, the geeks, tis not so simple. Now, that's not to say that we don't date and don't have crushes... We do. We probably have much more infatuations than the Legits do, but for several reasons we can not act upon them. Plus, our feelings can be very complex, leaving us not able to decide what they should do, let alone, can do.
I come to you with the message to try and evaluate yourself. If you want to go out with someone, find out what's holding you back. This may seem obvious, but really look. You may say it's your parents, but is it really? Are you the one that isn't ready? Maybe it actually is your parents, but what I want you to do is narrow down that main factor that is holding you back. Usually, the one is your excuse, or real reason. There are probably several you can think of, but you can probably think of ways to get around them... If you don't agree with dating at your age, then so be it. I do. I believe that kids our age are perfectly capable. But it is here where I rant. The parents are at fault here! They rarely address this "boy/girl" thing with us geeks. Now, I know how awkward that is... But think about it. Have your parents ever said to you, "You're not allowed to date until this date." No, and I'm not saying they should restrict you, but they should portray how they feel at the very least. A lot of kids don't know when it's okay with their parents to start dating, including me. My idealism would dictate that parents allow their kids to go on dates as they please somewhere during seventh grade. That's a big changing-grade, so all of those new feelings are given reassurance and you feel like you don't have to have an awkward conversation or ever feel restricted.
Evaluate what's holding you back. If you really want to date someone.. ew, I was just going to say talk to your parents about it. I know that that's the normal advice, but let's face it, very few of us have the guts to go to our parents and ask when we're allowed to date. Countless follow-up questions would surface. If it's your parents negligence that is holding you back... Well, then, think of when you see society is saying it's okay (Parents surprisingly can't argue with society). If there's a legitimate dating dance, then it's okay to date (eighth grade dance does NOT count). If EVERYONE is dating, it's okay to date. Try and put off the dating thing, I say. But when those feelings come your way, find out what is holding you back SPECIFICALLY, and try and get around them.
Parents are difficult. Maybe a letter would work. Try that, perhaps. The real problem is when you're a guy, and you're afraid of the girl's parents. Heh. yet another excuse, Vwalah.
My real rant was that parents can be very frustrating, and I'm sorry to all the others who have the problem described here.
ReplyDeleteHuh, wow.
ReplyDeleteI can't agree with if "everybody's doing it, then it's okay," because that probably won't work with my over-protective parents, even if YOU think it will. Maybe it will with yours, but I don't know...
Some people just don't ask people out on dates because of their emotions. I'm sure you knew this, but didn't really hit upon it on your blog.
What I mean is, some people are afraid to ask others on dates because of rejection. Rejection leads to heart break depending on how much you "like" and care for that person. The feeling of one's "heart breaking" is extremely hard to deal with. It's so dramatic to the point where you don't want to be "there" anymore. It may lead to you wanting to die; however, it is possible to get through it. I can't tell you if it's possible to heal or not because I just don't know yet. All I can say is that it hurts for a long time, or maybe it's not a long time, but it sure feels like it.
Good article. The only thing I have to argue with is rather superficial, being that I don't like the naming of the Pops the Legits. I am Legit. You are Legit. Most of us Musers are Legit. Giraffes are Legit. But Pops are the last thing I would call Legit.
ReplyDeleteOh, the Pops is a good name. I'll use that in the future.
ReplyDeleteAnd Tele- If everyone, by that I mean 80% of the school population is dating, how can your parents say that you shouldn't? Especially if smart people are dating with good grades. I know, some are just plain stubborn... But somehow I think they would comply if 3/4 of a grade is doing the same thing (this doesn't count for drugs! ;) ).
ReplyDeletethis this this is stupid. "morality and responsibility"? we're not talking about sex, its dating, you dont even need to kiss if you dont want to. I mean, I'm almost positive that when I have a friend (specially girls) and their like "omg im gonna ask this guy out" and im like "do it!" and then they're usually like "ah, im scared what if they say no!" Anyway, yeah, i agree with elena, its rejection. Only losers dont go out with people, because they're too scared cuz of their parents. My mommy told me she'd be cool with it as long as i told her just the other day! So anyone with balls would tell their parents...whore. XD im such a prick
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