Little Brother
This book is not for everyone. It has aspects of every genre (except fantasy), and it hits home to modern controversy, security vs. privacy.
It tells the story of a 17-year-old techno-rebel who lives in a world where schools give out free laptops, but monitor your every action. Marcus, the protagonist, is a hacker. He finds his way around surveillance systems in his school, simply for the reason of having privacy. Cameras can recognize how you walk, so he puts gravel in his shoes so that every step will change with the way the gravel moves. Many of the things he does he explains thoroughly. Some of these things are fictional, but take root in modern technology. Some things are entirely true, making this novel not only enjoyable, but informative.
There is a game in this book called Harajuki Fun Madness, in which you must find clues in cyberspace and in real life. He cuts class one day in order to get a head start on this game with his "team." While he is out of class, a terrorist attack occurs on the Bay Bridge and what is called the "BART." During the frenzy, one of his friends is stabbed. They try to wave down an ambulance or a police car, but once something finally stops, it turns out to be a military truck. He and his team are taken away for harsh interrogation. When he finally gets home, he is afraid to tell his story, worried that the Department of Homeland Security might take him and his friends back into illegal custody.
As it dawns on him that security has been amped up in San Francisco, where he lives. It was already intrusive, now it's downright Orwellian. The gov't has camera on every street, and the passcards used to get on things like Subways have sensors that allow the DHS to track any "suspicious movements." Marcus begins trouble by switching around these sensors/codes so it seems that several people are moving suspiciously. This causes a jam in the city, but it only causes for more enforcement in San Francisco.
As the story moves on, the real point of the novel becomes clear. Would you rather be extremely safe but monitored, controlled, and suspected as terrorists constantly, or have less security but more privacy? This is the theme. The protagonist is for the latter, while it seems that everyone around him thinks otherwise.
As m1k3y, Marcus's username, becomes more and more well-known, he wages war on the DHS, to find his friend, Darryl, still in illegal prison, and to fix the mess that the US is in.
The book doesn't have to have any political meaning for you, it's a thriller. It thrills. There are steamy love scenes, and there are pages devoted to talking about cryptology... DNS servers... hacking, and friendship.
Read this book if you're a geek, and read this book if you're thinking of being one. Also, I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys reading, but likes to have a book that makes you think.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Book Review #1 The Book Thief
The Book Thief
I've decided to blog about each book I read. Obviously, this is the review of The Book Thief.
The setting is Nazi Germany, starting in the late 1930s. The main character is Liesel Meminger. In the first scene, well, one of the first scenes, she witnesses her brother die on a crowded train. At his funeral, she steals The Gravedigger's Handbook. At the time she cannot read.
She is put into a foster home, in which she falls in love with her new Mama and Papa, especially her Papa. She slowly starts to fit in, playing soccer, joining Hitler Youth (for girls), learning how to read. She has recurring nightmares, so every night she'll wake up and learn how to read with her Papa and read out of her first stolen book. She gets in fights and becomes great friends with a boy named Rudy Steiner. There are several other minor characters and setting aspects, but that's as specific as you should know before reading.
She then steals a book from a book burning, making that book forbidden. Nevertheless, she and her father read it. Several other developments occur. Then, Papa, Hans Hubermann, accepts the son of a fallen comrade from the Great War to hid in his basement, a Jew. At first Liesel is puzzled, at this point only eleven years old. Max Vandenburg, a Jew, is very gracious of the family. Over time he and Liesel develop a solid friendship and he paints over pages of Mein Kampf so that he can write a book for her.
That's about as far as I will go. Needless to say, it's Nazi Germany, on a poor street named after Heaven. War seeps its way into her life and things go awry. Liesel develops extremely throughout the novel, and ends up writing her own book (The Book Thief).
This is not a book about the Holocaust. This is a book about poor Nazi Germany, and yes, the racism against Jews does have an impact on their life. It is a heartbreaking story of love, friendship, and hardship. Even the mean words that the main characters say to each other are out of love. There isn't much disappointment that can come from the book. It's a beautiful piece of literature, that really is an instant classic. I can imagine talking about it in a classroom.
It's told through the point of view of Death, something else that makes this book one of a kind. It provides unique descriptions of scenes and the fascination of the job of Death. He constantly talks about the colors of days, which provide beautiful scenery.
Liesel and her friends from Himmel(Heaven) Street play soccer when they get the chance. This symbolizes simply enjoying life, and it really is a lesson that you can find joy in the sorriest of situations.
All in all, it's a story of perseverance of a girl up to her teenage years. She provides an example (fictional or not!) of how to live life, to keep on moving no matter how hard things get. She endures so many hardships and the way she keeps on living.
It's great. Read it, I beg of you. Surely your children will be reading it in their classrooms, so you might as well read it now. Be prepared with some tissues for the last fifty pages though.
Enjoy!
I've decided to blog about each book I read. Obviously, this is the review of The Book Thief.
The setting is Nazi Germany, starting in the late 1930s. The main character is Liesel Meminger. In the first scene, well, one of the first scenes, she witnesses her brother die on a crowded train. At his funeral, she steals The Gravedigger's Handbook. At the time she cannot read.
She is put into a foster home, in which she falls in love with her new Mama and Papa, especially her Papa. She slowly starts to fit in, playing soccer, joining Hitler Youth (for girls), learning how to read. She has recurring nightmares, so every night she'll wake up and learn how to read with her Papa and read out of her first stolen book. She gets in fights and becomes great friends with a boy named Rudy Steiner. There are several other minor characters and setting aspects, but that's as specific as you should know before reading.
She then steals a book from a book burning, making that book forbidden. Nevertheless, she and her father read it. Several other developments occur. Then, Papa, Hans Hubermann, accepts the son of a fallen comrade from the Great War to hid in his basement, a Jew. At first Liesel is puzzled, at this point only eleven years old. Max Vandenburg, a Jew, is very gracious of the family. Over time he and Liesel develop a solid friendship and he paints over pages of Mein Kampf so that he can write a book for her.
That's about as far as I will go. Needless to say, it's Nazi Germany, on a poor street named after Heaven. War seeps its way into her life and things go awry. Liesel develops extremely throughout the novel, and ends up writing her own book (The Book Thief).
This is not a book about the Holocaust. This is a book about poor Nazi Germany, and yes, the racism against Jews does have an impact on their life. It is a heartbreaking story of love, friendship, and hardship. Even the mean words that the main characters say to each other are out of love. There isn't much disappointment that can come from the book. It's a beautiful piece of literature, that really is an instant classic. I can imagine talking about it in a classroom.
It's told through the point of view of Death, something else that makes this book one of a kind. It provides unique descriptions of scenes and the fascination of the job of Death. He constantly talks about the colors of days, which provide beautiful scenery.
Liesel and her friends from Himmel(Heaven) Street play soccer when they get the chance. This symbolizes simply enjoying life, and it really is a lesson that you can find joy in the sorriest of situations.
All in all, it's a story of perseverance of a girl up to her teenage years. She provides an example (fictional or not!) of how to live life, to keep on moving no matter how hard things get. She endures so many hardships and the way she keeps on living.
It's great. Read it, I beg of you. Surely your children will be reading it in their classrooms, so you might as well read it now. Be prepared with some tissues for the last fifty pages though.
Enjoy!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Hunger, Part the Sixth
CHAPTER 8
Where was her body?
I searched everywhere. Why would anyone or anything want a lifeless hollow sack? I didn’t know, but this benefitted me. I would have to discard her body, because I would have not been able to let it rot away and be eaten by animals.
She was gone, and I was left alone to ponder. I walked for that day. I did not eat. I did not rest. I finally sat down when the moon was highest and slept.
I woke up to hunger, so I ate. Then I bean to walk again, and this time I passed a town.
“DON’T YOU DIE.” “SUICIDE IS FOR QUITTERS” “THE DEAD ARE BLESSED.”
I had to hide from them that day. I found that it was easier o hide in a town, alone. I didn’t have to worry about someone else blowing my cover.
“I’m hungry.”
“You’re always hungry.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
That was all they had to say today. I found myself actually disappointed by the insignificant conversation.
I had to find a meaning, a purpose. What was it anymore? I didn’t know. To live? To eat? To die?
I was ashamed of what I was. Who knew that I would become dull, and meaningless? Perhaps I was before, but at least I was distracted. My goal then was to find a purpose, and if I should fail, then I would kill myself. It was as simple as that.
It was probably four months into my meditation. I felt like I could almost taste my purpose. I knew it was there, hiding. One day, I was sitting by a stream, and I was sitting in lotus position. I had learned this from my sister.
It was obvious that I wouldn’t reach it that day, but every second of thinking made my purpose closer to me, so I caught a small fish and ate. That would be good enough for a while. While my mind wandered and wrapped itself around concepts that I tried to understand. I heard something. Something so quiet, that I would have never been able to hear it normally. Then I heard it again, and again, and again, more constantly and more loudly.
So I opened my eyes, and instantly the sound was gone. I dismissed it as an imagination of my sub-conscious. It had happened before, hearing things. While I was meditating I thought of a lot of things, and sometimes those things made sounds.
But this was different. It only took me three seconds to get back into my state of purpose-searching, and once that time was up, it came back. I opened my eyes once again, and it was gone. Something was still there. Voices.
I instantly hid. I had a purpose. I just didn’t know what it was.
“I smell someone.”
“You’re imagining things…”
“No, you’re just not paying attention.”
“Or maybe he’s trying to save a life.”
“Now now, I didn’t say that.”
“But I really do smell something.”
“Oh, now I do!” The hungry one laughed, “Don’t tell me that you can’t smell it.”
“I don’t smell a thing.” I rather liked this third one, at least compared to the others.
“You can starve, I’m going to eat” And then I remembered something that I forgot. I supposed that I hadn’t dirtied up for about twenty-seven days.
I felt a hand. They were obviously much closer than I thought they were, or faster.
They pulled me into an opening. That was that. I accepted that I didn’t have a purpose, and that god was showing me that the right thing to do was die. At least I understood.
“I’ve smelt this one before!”
“Yes… yes!” You’re the human who we smelled even before Hollywood! Now that I think about it, you were there too! You’ve been begging for death a long time, my boy.”
“And now you get it, you lucky, lucky boy!” I could see the one in the back. What I saw surprised me more than I’ve ever been. He was a child. His skin was as pale as the moon, and his hair was tied back in a pony-tail. His clothes were similar to what I was wearing, and he was looking away.
“Jon, you want some?” I wondered why they had to ask while I was still alive. For fun, or because the blood would “go bad.”
“Just do it.”
And so they began. There was actually no pain, until the venom crawled in. I started having convulsions, and then I decided to go into a trance. I tried to block it all out, and I succeeded. I felt no pain, but I heard something. Foot-steps.
“I SMELL BLOO-OOD!” Hissing and cackling could be heard even with my eyes open. Instantly I felt some kind of burden lift off me, and I was alone. Then the real pain came.
((May be awhile for more... Gotta type this shiz up. Well, krista does, and I have to finish. Sooooooooon the whole thing will be done! *squee* Please, someone but Madi post -_- Not that I don't want her too. I'll post it just for you Madi, but I might as well send you an e-mail!))
Where was her body?
I searched everywhere. Why would anyone or anything want a lifeless hollow sack? I didn’t know, but this benefitted me. I would have to discard her body, because I would have not been able to let it rot away and be eaten by animals.
She was gone, and I was left alone to ponder. I walked for that day. I did not eat. I did not rest. I finally sat down when the moon was highest and slept.
I woke up to hunger, so I ate. Then I bean to walk again, and this time I passed a town.
“DON’T YOU DIE.” “SUICIDE IS FOR QUITTERS” “THE DEAD ARE BLESSED.”
I had to hide from them that day. I found that it was easier o hide in a town, alone. I didn’t have to worry about someone else blowing my cover.
“I’m hungry.”
“You’re always hungry.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
That was all they had to say today. I found myself actually disappointed by the insignificant conversation.
I had to find a meaning, a purpose. What was it anymore? I didn’t know. To live? To eat? To die?
I was ashamed of what I was. Who knew that I would become dull, and meaningless? Perhaps I was before, but at least I was distracted. My goal then was to find a purpose, and if I should fail, then I would kill myself. It was as simple as that.
It was probably four months into my meditation. I felt like I could almost taste my purpose. I knew it was there, hiding. One day, I was sitting by a stream, and I was sitting in lotus position. I had learned this from my sister.
It was obvious that I wouldn’t reach it that day, but every second of thinking made my purpose closer to me, so I caught a small fish and ate. That would be good enough for a while. While my mind wandered and wrapped itself around concepts that I tried to understand. I heard something. Something so quiet, that I would have never been able to hear it normally. Then I heard it again, and again, and again, more constantly and more loudly.
So I opened my eyes, and instantly the sound was gone. I dismissed it as an imagination of my sub-conscious. It had happened before, hearing things. While I was meditating I thought of a lot of things, and sometimes those things made sounds.
But this was different. It only took me three seconds to get back into my state of purpose-searching, and once that time was up, it came back. I opened my eyes once again, and it was gone. Something was still there. Voices.
I instantly hid. I had a purpose. I just didn’t know what it was.
“I smell someone.”
“You’re imagining things…”
“No, you’re just not paying attention.”
“Or maybe he’s trying to save a life.”
“Now now, I didn’t say that.”
“But I really do smell something.”
“Oh, now I do!” The hungry one laughed, “Don’t tell me that you can’t smell it.”
“I don’t smell a thing.” I rather liked this third one, at least compared to the others.
“You can starve, I’m going to eat” And then I remembered something that I forgot. I supposed that I hadn’t dirtied up for about twenty-seven days.
I felt a hand. They were obviously much closer than I thought they were, or faster.
They pulled me into an opening. That was that. I accepted that I didn’t have a purpose, and that god was showing me that the right thing to do was die. At least I understood.
“I’ve smelt this one before!”
“Yes… yes!” You’re the human who we smelled even before Hollywood! Now that I think about it, you were there too! You’ve been begging for death a long time, my boy.”
“And now you get it, you lucky, lucky boy!” I could see the one in the back. What I saw surprised me more than I’ve ever been. He was a child. His skin was as pale as the moon, and his hair was tied back in a pony-tail. His clothes were similar to what I was wearing, and he was looking away.
“Jon, you want some?” I wondered why they had to ask while I was still alive. For fun, or because the blood would “go bad.”
“Just do it.”
And so they began. There was actually no pain, until the venom crawled in. I started having convulsions, and then I decided to go into a trance. I tried to block it all out, and I succeeded. I felt no pain, but I heard something. Foot-steps.
“I SMELL BLOO-OOD!” Hissing and cackling could be heard even with my eyes open. Instantly I felt some kind of burden lift off me, and I was alone. Then the real pain came.
((May be awhile for more... Gotta type this shiz up. Well, krista does, and I have to finish. Sooooooooon the whole thing will be done! *squee* Please, someone but Madi post -_- Not that I don't want her too. I'll post it just for you Madi, but I might as well send you an e-mail!))
Hunger, Part the Fifth
CHAPTER 6
They were drinking from a pond when I did find them. They seemed healthy, well fed. At least, for what we usually are.
My brother was cupping his hands messily, and dropping the water before it reached his mouth. He had resorted to plunging his head in the water. My sister was looking around. She was being protective, as she always was. God bless her for it.
“Hey, someone’s here. Let’s go.”
“But I’m thirsty.”
“Yeah, well, you’re gonna’ be dead if you don’t stop drinking right now.”
“Stop. It’s just me.” What a beautiful family reunion!
“Oh.” That was all she could say? At least that was better than my brother. He just wiped the smile off his face, and put his head back under the water.
“Come on. Don’t act like you didn’t- “
“You know that you can’t stay with us.” What?
“But-“
“He won’t be OK the next time you blow up. And don’t say you won’t, because we both know what eventually he is going to do something so idiotic that you just can’t resist-“
“It is my turn to speak,” she needed to listen to me. “We can’t separate. We will die.”
“How can I let you just destroy his feelings and expectations like you did!?”
My brother took a few seconds to breathe.
“I will not do that again.”
“Did you not just hear-“
“It is my turn to speak, dammit! Keeping us separated will destroy his feelings worse than me saying a couple of wrongful sentences! He needs to suck it up! This is not a game!”
“What, you don’t think I know that?”
“He needs to know that”
I shook my head and waited for my brother to come up for a breath. When he finally cam up, I tapped his shoulder. He looked back, and then began to get ready to go back under.
“Stay,” I demanded.
“Why?”
“Do you always have to ask that-,” I had to revise my words, “I don’t always have an answer to that question. But I can answer it with another question.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“How are you?” He stared back at me for what seemed like an hour.
That question was almost banned from our code of language.
“I-I’m fine, you?”
“I am also fine. So, I have something that I need to talk to you about.” He was completely baffled.
“Sure. What is it?”
“You know that we might die, right? Any day, any time?”
“Yes.”
“And you know that this isn’t a game, right?”
“Yes, I know.”
“And most importantly, do you love us?”
“More or less.”
-----------------------------------------
Everything was normal again. We still wandered, ate in portions, and talked. Something was different, though. It was nothing noticeable by the outside, we were still just as alert as before, in fact more than ever. Something about the pond made us closer, stronger. We trusted each other, and I was no longer the leader. I had as much power as my brother did, and so did my sister.
We were one, one family, one group, one person. That was something that was non-existent before; I never thought we would be so close.
“Well, what are we doing today?” My brother was becoming bored with this lifestyle.
“I suppose we could do what you want to do.” My sister and I exchanged quick glances.
“Or maybe we could do what you want to do.” Nobody ever asked me what I wanted to do. It was quite the shock; it took me a second to answer.
“Um, we could… get some fish and have a feast tonight!” I answered an unusual question with an unusual answer. As I’ve said before, we never had feasts. I didn’t even know where I had leaned that learned that word, as it was so distant, unreal.
They stared, and then my brother said, “Well, let’s go find a pond!”
-------------------------------
I had always wondered why animals seemed to be thriving so well. The human race had been almost completely wiped out, and the animals had been perfectly fine. At least as far as I could tell, when humans were still dominant, animals were kept in pens and cages, and their birth patterns were probably monitored. A guess was all this was, but a very good guess, I thought.
We had found a pond with beautiful water, and you could see the fish swimming on the bottom.
“Look!”
“Yes, I see them.” Now we just needed a way to get them. I thought that the easiest way would be to sharpen some sticks with my knife and stab them. Of course, this wasn’t as easy as I thought it was.
“We could… make them come over here.”
“How?”
“I don’t know… with food or something.”
It turns out that my little brother had some good ideas. We caught three fish, and we were wondering how we would cook them. We decided that we would just stick it over the fire like we usually did with meat.
My sister was the only one who could actually start a fire. We didn’t know when or where she learned how, but it had saved us before. Of course, it could also give away our location if we were not careful. I had to make sure that we would snuff it out before night. My siblings enjoyed the warmth and light, but the dark and cold kept us hidden from them.
----------------------------------
They had to come on that night, didn’t they? The one night where we could indulge ourselves in food and together-ness.
“Get behind the trees. I’ll put out the fire.” They were obviously being careless. I could hear them coming, and they still didn’t know where we were. Thank god.
“I smell some smoke.”
“And fish.”
“We just ate.” The third one was being just as defiant as always.
“I’m still hungry.”
“I doubt that.” I sensed and eye-roll moment.
I hated that I couldn’t hear them coming near our hiding places. They most have gotten more careful. I wasn’t even sure where my brother and sister were. I didn’t hear another sound for that entire night. I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t think. The night passed by quickly, and by morning I was hungry and tired.
When I finally thought it to be safe, I stood up to find my muscles to be cramped, and my joints might as well have been squeaking. It still felt good to stand up.
My first goal was to find my brother and sister.
“Rice-cake!” This was our code word for meeting up/coming out. I didn't eveb think my sister knew what it meant.
There was no answer of movement or words. I did not panic; things like had happened before. I searched the surrounding area.
Nothing. No one. And then I saw it.
They had been dragged. Beaten. Drops of blood left a trail towards them, and I was going to follow. What choice did I have? Without them I was nothing.
CHAPTER 7
The trail of blood stopped once I found the road. I had to decide which way I would go next. I decided left. The blood seemed to lean that way before it disappeared. There wasn’t any confidence in my decision. They could have turned around just as easily as staying on the path that I took. But it was all I had, so I went with it. I spent four days like this.
On the fifth day I gave up. They were gone, dead probably. Why should I exert myself to find corpses? Why should I risk my life in order to discover that I’m all alone, rather than accept with the slight possibility of hope? This was my train of thought, and I went with it.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. Dirty up. Eat. Find food. Sleep. What else was there? Nothing. I was alone.
---------------------------------------------
I was thinking of killing myself. What else was there to do? My life was meaningless, and I would rather not let my blood become a snack for them. That kind of purpose is worse than having one in the first place.
There had to be a place where blood would pour out of my body, into the soil. I wanted my body to become the earth, not food. I had been testing spots on my body. My wrists bled largely, and I could only guess that my face had many vessels, especially my neck. When I sat down and thought about it (which I did a lot), all of the blood had to get through my neck, up to my head. There simply had to be a mass of tubes doing that job. Also, they always seemed to drink from there. So my disturbing decision became that I would use my knife, and cut open my neck as largely as possible.
Fun thoughts to have, no?
I only had to decide when and where. There was also the matter of leaving some kind of note behind, most likely in graffiti. Where would I get something to write with? I supposed that I had to carve it into the wall, which would mean that it would have to be short and sweet.
-----------------------------
I spent hours and days and possibly months deciding what I should write. I had found that my knife would make a nice enough mark to outlast simple rain-wash. But what to write?
I spent another month thinking about it.
And another.
So after my three month meditation, I could only think of one thing to say, and it took me a few days to finally write it out on the wall. It dwarfed all the other writings. It truly was a statement.
“LIFE SUCKS”
-------------------------------------------------
It was the day of my suicide attempt, hopefully a success. I thought that really nothing could go wrong. Even if they came to me, I would die and join my family. The aspect of not-being-food would simply be ignored, which wasn’t the worst thing to be lost in this. If my words disappeared, or my family watched me as I cut my neck open, then this would be failure.
But I wouldn’t care, ‘cause I’d be dead.
It was actually quite the beautiful day, and I even thought of enjoying it before my final hours, but too much preparation! I mean, I had to think about it, and think about it, and even think about it! It was quite tiring.
I had the knife in hand all day. Waiting for it to come up to my neck and-
There were screams, and I ran off to find the source.
--------------------------------------------------
It was my sister. She was on the ground. Why wasn’t she bleeding? There was a gash in her neck.
“Luke…”
“What happened?”
“Th-they were keeping us…. Too full… they were ready… and then… and then…”
“Did they drink it all?”
“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW. LUCIUS. HELP ME.” I took off my shirt and put it to the gash, and then I remembered that there wouldn’t be a blood flow.
“Help… Help…” What could I do? There was no blood.
“Help, Lucius, Help.”
“JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND TO THINK.”
“Help me.”
I thought about anything and everything. Nothing I knew could help her. You’d think that after all of the experiences I’ve been through, I would know how to help.
She would have to die. I put on a reluctant smile on my face as tears poured out of my eye sockets. She did not deserve this.
“You’re going to be fine Mary. You’re going to be fine.” She then also smiled.
“No I’m not.”
And she closed her eyes, and died.
They were drinking from a pond when I did find them. They seemed healthy, well fed. At least, for what we usually are.
My brother was cupping his hands messily, and dropping the water before it reached his mouth. He had resorted to plunging his head in the water. My sister was looking around. She was being protective, as she always was. God bless her for it.
“Hey, someone’s here. Let’s go.”
“But I’m thirsty.”
“Yeah, well, you’re gonna’ be dead if you don’t stop drinking right now.”
“Stop. It’s just me.” What a beautiful family reunion!
“Oh.” That was all she could say? At least that was better than my brother. He just wiped the smile off his face, and put his head back under the water.
“Come on. Don’t act like you didn’t- “
“You know that you can’t stay with us.” What?
“But-“
“He won’t be OK the next time you blow up. And don’t say you won’t, because we both know what eventually he is going to do something so idiotic that you just can’t resist-“
“It is my turn to speak,” she needed to listen to me. “We can’t separate. We will die.”
“How can I let you just destroy his feelings and expectations like you did!?”
My brother took a few seconds to breathe.
“I will not do that again.”
“Did you not just hear-“
“It is my turn to speak, dammit! Keeping us separated will destroy his feelings worse than me saying a couple of wrongful sentences! He needs to suck it up! This is not a game!”
“What, you don’t think I know that?”
“He needs to know that”
I shook my head and waited for my brother to come up for a breath. When he finally cam up, I tapped his shoulder. He looked back, and then began to get ready to go back under.
“Stay,” I demanded.
“Why?”
“Do you always have to ask that-,” I had to revise my words, “I don’t always have an answer to that question. But I can answer it with another question.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“How are you?” He stared back at me for what seemed like an hour.
That question was almost banned from our code of language.
“I-I’m fine, you?”
“I am also fine. So, I have something that I need to talk to you about.” He was completely baffled.
“Sure. What is it?”
“You know that we might die, right? Any day, any time?”
“Yes.”
“And you know that this isn’t a game, right?”
“Yes, I know.”
“And most importantly, do you love us?”
“More or less.”
-----------------------------------------
Everything was normal again. We still wandered, ate in portions, and talked. Something was different, though. It was nothing noticeable by the outside, we were still just as alert as before, in fact more than ever. Something about the pond made us closer, stronger. We trusted each other, and I was no longer the leader. I had as much power as my brother did, and so did my sister.
We were one, one family, one group, one person. That was something that was non-existent before; I never thought we would be so close.
“Well, what are we doing today?” My brother was becoming bored with this lifestyle.
“I suppose we could do what you want to do.” My sister and I exchanged quick glances.
“Or maybe we could do what you want to do.” Nobody ever asked me what I wanted to do. It was quite the shock; it took me a second to answer.
“Um, we could… get some fish and have a feast tonight!” I answered an unusual question with an unusual answer. As I’ve said before, we never had feasts. I didn’t even know where I had leaned that learned that word, as it was so distant, unreal.
They stared, and then my brother said, “Well, let’s go find a pond!”
-------------------------------
I had always wondered why animals seemed to be thriving so well. The human race had been almost completely wiped out, and the animals had been perfectly fine. At least as far as I could tell, when humans were still dominant, animals were kept in pens and cages, and their birth patterns were probably monitored. A guess was all this was, but a very good guess, I thought.
We had found a pond with beautiful water, and you could see the fish swimming on the bottom.
“Look!”
“Yes, I see them.” Now we just needed a way to get them. I thought that the easiest way would be to sharpen some sticks with my knife and stab them. Of course, this wasn’t as easy as I thought it was.
“We could… make them come over here.”
“How?”
“I don’t know… with food or something.”
It turns out that my little brother had some good ideas. We caught three fish, and we were wondering how we would cook them. We decided that we would just stick it over the fire like we usually did with meat.
My sister was the only one who could actually start a fire. We didn’t know when or where she learned how, but it had saved us before. Of course, it could also give away our location if we were not careful. I had to make sure that we would snuff it out before night. My siblings enjoyed the warmth and light, but the dark and cold kept us hidden from them.
----------------------------------
They had to come on that night, didn’t they? The one night where we could indulge ourselves in food and together-ness.
“Get behind the trees. I’ll put out the fire.” They were obviously being careless. I could hear them coming, and they still didn’t know where we were. Thank god.
“I smell some smoke.”
“And fish.”
“We just ate.” The third one was being just as defiant as always.
“I’m still hungry.”
“I doubt that.” I sensed and eye-roll moment.
I hated that I couldn’t hear them coming near our hiding places. They most have gotten more careful. I wasn’t even sure where my brother and sister were. I didn’t hear another sound for that entire night. I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t think. The night passed by quickly, and by morning I was hungry and tired.
When I finally thought it to be safe, I stood up to find my muscles to be cramped, and my joints might as well have been squeaking. It still felt good to stand up.
My first goal was to find my brother and sister.
“Rice-cake!” This was our code word for meeting up/coming out. I didn't eveb think my sister knew what it meant.
There was no answer of movement or words. I did not panic; things like had happened before. I searched the surrounding area.
Nothing. No one. And then I saw it.
They had been dragged. Beaten. Drops of blood left a trail towards them, and I was going to follow. What choice did I have? Without them I was nothing.
CHAPTER 7
The trail of blood stopped once I found the road. I had to decide which way I would go next. I decided left. The blood seemed to lean that way before it disappeared. There wasn’t any confidence in my decision. They could have turned around just as easily as staying on the path that I took. But it was all I had, so I went with it. I spent four days like this.
On the fifth day I gave up. They were gone, dead probably. Why should I exert myself to find corpses? Why should I risk my life in order to discover that I’m all alone, rather than accept with the slight possibility of hope? This was my train of thought, and I went with it.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. Dirty up. Eat. Find food. Sleep. What else was there? Nothing. I was alone.
---------------------------------------------
I was thinking of killing myself. What else was there to do? My life was meaningless, and I would rather not let my blood become a snack for them. That kind of purpose is worse than having one in the first place.
There had to be a place where blood would pour out of my body, into the soil. I wanted my body to become the earth, not food. I had been testing spots on my body. My wrists bled largely, and I could only guess that my face had many vessels, especially my neck. When I sat down and thought about it (which I did a lot), all of the blood had to get through my neck, up to my head. There simply had to be a mass of tubes doing that job. Also, they always seemed to drink from there. So my disturbing decision became that I would use my knife, and cut open my neck as largely as possible.
Fun thoughts to have, no?
I only had to decide when and where. There was also the matter of leaving some kind of note behind, most likely in graffiti. Where would I get something to write with? I supposed that I had to carve it into the wall, which would mean that it would have to be short and sweet.
-----------------------------
I spent hours and days and possibly months deciding what I should write. I had found that my knife would make a nice enough mark to outlast simple rain-wash. But what to write?
I spent another month thinking about it.
And another.
So after my three month meditation, I could only think of one thing to say, and it took me a few days to finally write it out on the wall. It dwarfed all the other writings. It truly was a statement.
“LIFE SUCKS”
-------------------------------------------------
It was the day of my suicide attempt, hopefully a success. I thought that really nothing could go wrong. Even if they came to me, I would die and join my family. The aspect of not-being-food would simply be ignored, which wasn’t the worst thing to be lost in this. If my words disappeared, or my family watched me as I cut my neck open, then this would be failure.
But I wouldn’t care, ‘cause I’d be dead.
It was actually quite the beautiful day, and I even thought of enjoying it before my final hours, but too much preparation! I mean, I had to think about it, and think about it, and even think about it! It was quite tiring.
I had the knife in hand all day. Waiting for it to come up to my neck and-
There were screams, and I ran off to find the source.
--------------------------------------------------
It was my sister. She was on the ground. Why wasn’t she bleeding? There was a gash in her neck.
“Luke…”
“What happened?”
“Th-they were keeping us…. Too full… they were ready… and then… and then…”
“Did they drink it all?”
“I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW. LUCIUS. HELP ME.” I took off my shirt and put it to the gash, and then I remembered that there wouldn’t be a blood flow.
“Help… Help…” What could I do? There was no blood.
“Help, Lucius, Help.”
“JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND TO THINK.”
“Help me.”
I thought about anything and everything. Nothing I knew could help her. You’d think that after all of the experiences I’ve been through, I would know how to help.
She would have to die. I put on a reluctant smile on my face as tears poured out of my eye sockets. She did not deserve this.
“You’re going to be fine Mary. You’re going to be fine.” She then also smiled.
“No I’m not.”
And she closed her eyes, and died.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Hunger, Part the Fourth
CHAPTER 5
It was our third day in Hollywood, and we hadn’t had any more “visits.” This was all fine and dandy, except for the longer some of them didn’t come, the more the apprehension built up. Things couldn’t be laid back for long periods of time, unless a storm was coming.
“What are we going to do today?” My brother still thought that the good life was here to stay.
“We’re leaving.” There I was again with the logic.
“What? Why?”
“We can’t stay in one place for too long.”
“Why not?”
“Because!”
“You’re being dumb!”
“No, you are! You think that everything is always an abundance of food and happiness, but we could be starving by tomorrow! One day, we’re going to run out of food, and what are you going to think then!?”
“LUCIUS!” My sister never used my name. Names were obsolete.
She looked at me as if I was one of them. What could I have done to make her look at me that way? I couldn’t respond to that look. Nothing could make it go away.
My brother ran into his closet. He stayed there a lot. I think he enjoyed the privacy. It certainly had its advantages now.
---
We finally left on the fifth day. Surprisingly, nothing happened on those two extra days that I disagreed with. How could I keep my leadership, when my decisions-turned-suggestions didn’t benefit my family? I couldn’t.
Nobody talked.
We walked. And walked. And walked.
We had no purpose. No goals. All we did was wander.
We did not see them again, and we did not see any others. Wandering alone in various terrains, and never looking back.
Our lives were dull, and empty.
And it was because of what I said in Hollywood.
---
I hadn’t seen my sister or my brother in three days. We simply started walking different ways, in every sense of the phrase. I thought that the best way to go was right, and I supposed my brother and sister thought otherwise. There was no discussion, no debate. There was a simple and final decision.
Perhaps this is what they wanted from the beginning. I thought that I would never know.
I saw them again on the sixth day away from Hollywood.
”That city treated us well." Somehow he infused his words with sarcasm.
“We had enough.”
“Yes, enough. We should be able to last for another week.”
“A week!? We might as well starve ourselves!”
“Well, we don’t need to be killing every person we see. We can last.
Silence.
“I think he’s gone mad.”
“I most certainly have not! What is “mad” about not wanting to kill anybody!?”
“It’s our nature. Since when do you deny this?”
“Since the boy.”
“Would it be better if we allowed him to live in this world full of fear only to be killed by another group? Would that have been better? Huh?”
---
I was worried every day for my family. Have they survived? Have they eaten enough? Have they been caught? But there was no way of knowing.
I had to find them.
It was our third day in Hollywood, and we hadn’t had any more “visits.” This was all fine and dandy, except for the longer some of them didn’t come, the more the apprehension built up. Things couldn’t be laid back for long periods of time, unless a storm was coming.
“What are we going to do today?” My brother still thought that the good life was here to stay.
“We’re leaving.” There I was again with the logic.
“What? Why?”
“We can’t stay in one place for too long.”
“Why not?”
“Because!”
“You’re being dumb!”
“No, you are! You think that everything is always an abundance of food and happiness, but we could be starving by tomorrow! One day, we’re going to run out of food, and what are you going to think then!?”
“LUCIUS!” My sister never used my name. Names were obsolete.
She looked at me as if I was one of them. What could I have done to make her look at me that way? I couldn’t respond to that look. Nothing could make it go away.
My brother ran into his closet. He stayed there a lot. I think he enjoyed the privacy. It certainly had its advantages now.
---
We finally left on the fifth day. Surprisingly, nothing happened on those two extra days that I disagreed with. How could I keep my leadership, when my decisions-turned-suggestions didn’t benefit my family? I couldn’t.
Nobody talked.
We walked. And walked. And walked.
We had no purpose. No goals. All we did was wander.
We did not see them again, and we did not see any others. Wandering alone in various terrains, and never looking back.
Our lives were dull, and empty.
And it was because of what I said in Hollywood.
---
I hadn’t seen my sister or my brother in three days. We simply started walking different ways, in every sense of the phrase. I thought that the best way to go was right, and I supposed my brother and sister thought otherwise. There was no discussion, no debate. There was a simple and final decision.
Perhaps this is what they wanted from the beginning. I thought that I would never know.
I saw them again on the sixth day away from Hollywood.
”That city treated us well." Somehow he infused his words with sarcasm.
“We had enough.”
“Yes, enough. We should be able to last for another week.”
“A week!? We might as well starve ourselves!”
“Well, we don’t need to be killing every person we see. We can last.
Silence.
“I think he’s gone mad.”
“I most certainly have not! What is “mad” about not wanting to kill anybody!?”
“It’s our nature. Since when do you deny this?”
“Since the boy.”
“Would it be better if we allowed him to live in this world full of fear only to be killed by another group? Would that have been better? Huh?”
---
I was worried every day for my family. Have they survived? Have they eaten enough? Have they been caught? But there was no way of knowing.
I had to find them.
CHAPTER 4 of Hunger
CHAPTER 4
“We’re here!” my brother said. He only knew because of the large sign. It was quite convenient. I was wondering why every town didn’t have this type of sign. Navigating would be much easier, especially for people who actually cared where they were going.
All of us knew that Hollywood was a special palace, but we never knew why. We had remembered the word “movie,” but of course, this meant nothing to us. We finally got to observe this place of fame, but we never quite got the perspective.
Buildings were boarded up, and crumbling. It had been a long time since each of the buildings had been filled up at the same time. People who would have normally taken care of these buildings were gone. They seemed as if they had been magnificent, at least by my standards, which weren’t very high.
“Well, what now?” My sister was the downer for once.
“We have to find food,” and logic from me.
“Let’s explore!” I didn’t see that coming, I thought sarcastically. I smirked and looked at my sister. We rarely ever had these types of mutual understandings, so we went with it.
“Alright! What will we find in our wondrous adventures of post apocalyptic Hollywood? Who’s to say?” My unusually happy tone made my brother rather excited for the rest of the day.
We walked on sidewalks with names and stars on the blocks, and ran around enormous rooms with several seats inside. It baffled me that people built this for things like this? I thought that there must have been at least a thousand people working on the structure of each building.
My brother always enjoyed talking bulbs of glass and wondering what they were used for before everyone left. He would just stare and stare and stare. I had made a theory that the small metal piece in the bulb had some special properties. I just couldn’t understand why they needed the bulb. My brother had his own assumptions.
I was tired. We were tired.
We enjoyed the day, but it had wiped us out. We couldn’t even talk by nightfall. This was dangerous. I had to find a place to hide for the night. Something told me that they would be here tonight, perhaps with others.
There was an abandoned building, possibly the most normal looking building there. It didn’t have a name, or any special decorations. The fact that it was so normal made it stick out quite a bit, but I believed that they wouldn’t look in there. We found hiding places.
We heard something outside. I was pretty sure that these were not the same ones we’ve been hearing a lot lately.
“What a shame.”
"What, Edgar? Hollywood not good enough for ya’?” Disgusting snickering ensued.
“Yes! This place used to be crawling with humans. I could buy a snack here. Now it’s a dump.”
“Oh, don’t you fret, I think I smell a few.”
“As do I.” Did their kind always travel in threes?
“Yeah, maybe we could get a snack-pack for free!” I was wrong, there was a fourth one.
Silence. That was never good.
“I don’t know where they are,” said the fourth one, “This bunch is clever.”
“All the more reason to find them.”
Worrying conversation like this continued for 15 minutes, when one of them stopped talking altogether. One by one they all stopped.
A trap.
My brother started creeping out from his hiding spot in a walk-closet. I had to get out of my hiding place in order to stop him. It didn’t matter, as they were still outside.
He was smiling. He thought we had won. I quickly waved my hands around, but he continued walking towards the couch. The rusty springs would surely give us away.
I had to take a chance. My brother was roughly five meters away from me, looking the opposite way. I had to run up to him, tap his shoulder, signal him to go back, and be quiet during this. Really quiet. They had amazing hearing.
I stepped down on the first board. I will never forget how long that shift on weight seemed to take. The front of my shoe hit down first, while I slowly brought down the rest of my sole on the plank. It was a leap of faith, not just a leap of my body. When my body totally depended on that foot, and silence still surrounded us, I knew I had successfully brought myself closer to my goal. The problem was that my brother was also moving, and more confidently. I had to somehow increase my speed, and stay just as quiet.
My second step was fine.
So was my third. I was a meter away from him now. You would not believe how stress devours your soul when you are a meter away from someone who could save your life, or destroy it, without the ability to sway the odds. I had to get him to turn around. My hands were outstretched, so that he would get the message as soon as I reached him.
My fourth step meant everything. And I had to decide how to make it in a split second.
He was one step away from the couch when I leaped on him. From my previous steps I found that the boards in the house weren’t always creaky. The only way we were going to survive was if I jumped, so I honestly had no choice.
I let go of my love for life for just a second, in order to save it.
He fell on the floor without the slightest of sound. I thought maybe fate was keeping us alive by this point, but I would later see that it was just dumb luck.
(Please comment if you have finished. I don't want to post more if nobody is reading.)
“We’re here!” my brother said. He only knew because of the large sign. It was quite convenient. I was wondering why every town didn’t have this type of sign. Navigating would be much easier, especially for people who actually cared where they were going.
All of us knew that Hollywood was a special palace, but we never knew why. We had remembered the word “movie,” but of course, this meant nothing to us. We finally got to observe this place of fame, but we never quite got the perspective.
Buildings were boarded up, and crumbling. It had been a long time since each of the buildings had been filled up at the same time. People who would have normally taken care of these buildings were gone. They seemed as if they had been magnificent, at least by my standards, which weren’t very high.
“Well, what now?” My sister was the downer for once.
“We have to find food,” and logic from me.
“Let’s explore!” I didn’t see that coming, I thought sarcastically. I smirked and looked at my sister. We rarely ever had these types of mutual understandings, so we went with it.
“Alright! What will we find in our wondrous adventures of post apocalyptic Hollywood? Who’s to say?” My unusually happy tone made my brother rather excited for the rest of the day.
We walked on sidewalks with names and stars on the blocks, and ran around enormous rooms with several seats inside. It baffled me that people built this for things like this? I thought that there must have been at least a thousand people working on the structure of each building.
My brother always enjoyed talking bulbs of glass and wondering what they were used for before everyone left. He would just stare and stare and stare. I had made a theory that the small metal piece in the bulb had some special properties. I just couldn’t understand why they needed the bulb. My brother had his own assumptions.
I was tired. We were tired.
We enjoyed the day, but it had wiped us out. We couldn’t even talk by nightfall. This was dangerous. I had to find a place to hide for the night. Something told me that they would be here tonight, perhaps with others.
There was an abandoned building, possibly the most normal looking building there. It didn’t have a name, or any special decorations. The fact that it was so normal made it stick out quite a bit, but I believed that they wouldn’t look in there. We found hiding places.
We heard something outside. I was pretty sure that these were not the same ones we’ve been hearing a lot lately.
“What a shame.”
"What, Edgar? Hollywood not good enough for ya’?” Disgusting snickering ensued.
“Yes! This place used to be crawling with humans. I could buy a snack here. Now it’s a dump.”
“Oh, don’t you fret, I think I smell a few.”
“As do I.” Did their kind always travel in threes?
“Yeah, maybe we could get a snack-pack for free!” I was wrong, there was a fourth one.
Silence. That was never good.
“I don’t know where they are,” said the fourth one, “This bunch is clever.”
“All the more reason to find them.”
Worrying conversation like this continued for 15 minutes, when one of them stopped talking altogether. One by one they all stopped.
A trap.
My brother started creeping out from his hiding spot in a walk-closet. I had to get out of my hiding place in order to stop him. It didn’t matter, as they were still outside.
He was smiling. He thought we had won. I quickly waved my hands around, but he continued walking towards the couch. The rusty springs would surely give us away.
I had to take a chance. My brother was roughly five meters away from me, looking the opposite way. I had to run up to him, tap his shoulder, signal him to go back, and be quiet during this. Really quiet. They had amazing hearing.
I stepped down on the first board. I will never forget how long that shift on weight seemed to take. The front of my shoe hit down first, while I slowly brought down the rest of my sole on the plank. It was a leap of faith, not just a leap of my body. When my body totally depended on that foot, and silence still surrounded us, I knew I had successfully brought myself closer to my goal. The problem was that my brother was also moving, and more confidently. I had to somehow increase my speed, and stay just as quiet.
My second step was fine.
So was my third. I was a meter away from him now. You would not believe how stress devours your soul when you are a meter away from someone who could save your life, or destroy it, without the ability to sway the odds. I had to get him to turn around. My hands were outstretched, so that he would get the message as soon as I reached him.
My fourth step meant everything. And I had to decide how to make it in a split second.
He was one step away from the couch when I leaped on him. From my previous steps I found that the boards in the house weren’t always creaky. The only way we were going to survive was if I jumped, so I honestly had no choice.
I let go of my love for life for just a second, in order to save it.
He fell on the floor without the slightest of sound. I thought maybe fate was keeping us alive by this point, but I would later see that it was just dumb luck.
(Please comment if you have finished. I don't want to post more if nobody is reading.)
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Since I'm bored, more Hunger
CHAPTER 2
“It’s those same people from before.”
“And I still don’t smell anything.”
“Why do we even need anymore? I’m full and it’s not worth the trouble.”
“What if we don’t find anymore until one of us goes mad?”
“Don’t you worry. The next town is supposed to be some kind of refuge for humans.”
“A platter.”
“Yes,” the first one hissed.
Once again we survived due to dumb luck. We also learned something that would shake up what we thought about the world.
“A refuge?”
“What did I tell you about being too hopeful?”
“What did I tell you about being a little ass?” My sister retorted. That shut me up. “So what should we do?”
“We should go,” I said. I didn’t say that I didn’t want to check it out, but they were still surprised by my suggestion.
“We should!” A predictable answer from my brother.
“Hey, hey! Now wait a second! Let’s think this out,” my sister said, “If they are going that way, then we should head the other way.”
“But this could be an opportunity to-“
“An opportunity to meet people who won’t want another mouth to feed.”
Her logic made me sick, as it was usually me making these kinds of statements.
I had convinced her to let us go to the refuge, if that was what it was. The graffiti changed themes suddenly. They weren’t as “humorous.” They seemed like a crazy person or someone with a hidden message wrote them.
“RIGHT THIS WAY.”
Even though it seemed insane, it struck me as comical that someone would take the time to write something so mad in such a bleak world.
“What are you smiling for?” And it was quickly turned into an emotionless straight line. My sister didn’t even look at me. She was far past the realization of me being an “ass.”
All we could do is walk on. The graffiti was more of the same. It couldn’t even capture enough curiosity to read it. I wondered what I could do to amuse myself. Whistle? No. At most that would annoy my siblings, which could cause some pleasure, but I was sure that something else could be more fun and not bother them.
Fantasy? Perhaps. The only problem with making up an enjoyable situation was the eventual depression afterward.
I ended up picking up my feet, and putting them back down. This activity gave me exercise and did not cause depression. A perfect activity, no?
When we got to the town all we found were bodies. There were dozens of them. I found it hard to believe that the group of three did all this. My suspicion was confirmed when I realized that some of the bodies were more decomposed than the others. Some of the people had been killed a month ago, while on body, a woman, was still wet from her sweat and blood.
“My lord…”
My sister was looking at a child. He was fresh also, right off the metaphorical plate. My brother was staring wide-eyed.
“Hey! Food!” I could only try and divert their attention from the corpses. They slowly pulled their gazes from the boy, and onto the boxes of untouched food.
“It really was a refuge…” My brother said in a melancholy tone. I walked over to one of the boxes and pulled out a can of peaches. I tried to cheer them up with hopeful words of large meals and bright days, but they knew just as well as I did that we would have to eat our food slowly and in small portions. Maybe I could give them a feast just this once…
CHAPTER 3
I always seemed to be the leader of our group. My older sister never seemed to officially hand over the role, but when I started finding food and making risks that no one else dared to make, it just seemed to be implied. Nevertheless, my sister gave my brother simple orders, and made criticizing remarks towards my decisions. I suppose that she had the right to, considering the lack of an announcement concerning the transition of power.
“So, where do we go now?”
“I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”
“Someplace with people.”
Again my brother had to ruin a perfectly normal conversation. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He was too hopeful, too expectant. He though that my sister and I could do anything with a bit of effort. We could even make people appear out of thin air, apparently.
“How ‘bout something practical…like Hollywood.”
“Hey! Yeah…Let’s go to Hollywood!” And it was decided.
“So, we’re here, and Hollywood is…here” I point to the dot. It was meaningless to my brother. My sister and I walked, and he followed. We could be heading towards the North Pole, and he would follow and be just as hopeful as always.
“Ok, so let’s go!”
“Now wait a sec’, we need to figure out how we are going to bring all of this food to Hollywood. We’re 200 miles away!” There’s my hopeful logic.
“We’re going to have to get something to carry the food from those people.”
My sister was sitting in the corner. We were both shocked to hear her speak, and my brother was obviously not happy with her decision.
“You’re right.” It was an unspoken decision to let him watch the food while we scavenged amongst the bodies.
We found four backpacks, six plastic bags, and on hundred thirty-six thoughts of suicide.
“Who’s going to take the extra backpack?” It was a meaningless question, with an obvious answer. Of course I would be burdened with the weight of a small backpack; I was already carrying the responsibilities of this “family”. She handed the backpack to me, and we began out 200-mile walk.
We were 100 miles away when we saw them again. I couldn’t tell if they were the same ones, but the group of three seemed just as dysfunctional as before. I was hiding behind a tree this time. I preferred bushes.
“Where exactly are we going?” said the third one.
“Anywhere with people is fine with me.”
“But do we have any goals?”
“Yeah, eating.”
I’ve never heard them laugh before. It was more of a hiss or a cackle. Whatever it was, it was disgusting. Those things didn’t deserve happiness. They took lives from countless people to supply themselves with comfort. Their whole kind was disgusting.
One night my sister told us a story about them. I didn’t enjoy it very much. It was about some person named “Dracula.” It didn’t seem to have much relevance to today, but I rather liked the ending.
((I apologize for the several typos. Please point any out. I fixed some of the ones below, but I'd rather just be lazy and fix them in my actual copy and let you guys change it in your heads. If anyone's reading. *echo* *loneliness*
“It’s those same people from before.”
“And I still don’t smell anything.”
“Why do we even need anymore? I’m full and it’s not worth the trouble.”
“What if we don’t find anymore until one of us goes mad?”
“Don’t you worry. The next town is supposed to be some kind of refuge for humans.”
“A platter.”
“Yes,” the first one hissed.
Once again we survived due to dumb luck. We also learned something that would shake up what we thought about the world.
“A refuge?”
“What did I tell you about being too hopeful?”
“What did I tell you about being a little ass?” My sister retorted. That shut me up. “So what should we do?”
“We should go,” I said. I didn’t say that I didn’t want to check it out, but they were still surprised by my suggestion.
“We should!” A predictable answer from my brother.
“Hey, hey! Now wait a second! Let’s think this out,” my sister said, “If they are going that way, then we should head the other way.”
“But this could be an opportunity to-“
“An opportunity to meet people who won’t want another mouth to feed.”
Her logic made me sick, as it was usually me making these kinds of statements.
I had convinced her to let us go to the refuge, if that was what it was. The graffiti changed themes suddenly. They weren’t as “humorous.” They seemed like a crazy person or someone with a hidden message wrote them.
“RIGHT THIS WAY.”
Even though it seemed insane, it struck me as comical that someone would take the time to write something so mad in such a bleak world.
“What are you smiling for?” And it was quickly turned into an emotionless straight line. My sister didn’t even look at me. She was far past the realization of me being an “ass.”
All we could do is walk on. The graffiti was more of the same. It couldn’t even capture enough curiosity to read it. I wondered what I could do to amuse myself. Whistle? No. At most that would annoy my siblings, which could cause some pleasure, but I was sure that something else could be more fun and not bother them.
Fantasy? Perhaps. The only problem with making up an enjoyable situation was the eventual depression afterward.
I ended up picking up my feet, and putting them back down. This activity gave me exercise and did not cause depression. A perfect activity, no?
When we got to the town all we found were bodies. There were dozens of them. I found it hard to believe that the group of three did all this. My suspicion was confirmed when I realized that some of the bodies were more decomposed than the others. Some of the people had been killed a month ago, while on body, a woman, was still wet from her sweat and blood.
“My lord…”
My sister was looking at a child. He was fresh also, right off the metaphorical plate. My brother was staring wide-eyed.
“Hey! Food!” I could only try and divert their attention from the corpses. They slowly pulled their gazes from the boy, and onto the boxes of untouched food.
“It really was a refuge…” My brother said in a melancholy tone. I walked over to one of the boxes and pulled out a can of peaches. I tried to cheer them up with hopeful words of large meals and bright days, but they knew just as well as I did that we would have to eat our food slowly and in small portions. Maybe I could give them a feast just this once…
CHAPTER 3
I always seemed to be the leader of our group. My older sister never seemed to officially hand over the role, but when I started finding food and making risks that no one else dared to make, it just seemed to be implied. Nevertheless, my sister gave my brother simple orders, and made criticizing remarks towards my decisions. I suppose that she had the right to, considering the lack of an announcement concerning the transition of power.
“So, where do we go now?”
“I don’t know. Where do you want to go?”
“Someplace with people.”
Again my brother had to ruin a perfectly normal conversation. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He was too hopeful, too expectant. He though that my sister and I could do anything with a bit of effort. We could even make people appear out of thin air, apparently.
“How ‘bout something practical…like Hollywood.”
“Hey! Yeah…Let’s go to Hollywood!” And it was decided.
“So, we’re here, and Hollywood is…here” I point to the dot. It was meaningless to my brother. My sister and I walked, and he followed. We could be heading towards the North Pole, and he would follow and be just as hopeful as always.
“Ok, so let’s go!”
“Now wait a sec’, we need to figure out how we are going to bring all of this food to Hollywood. We’re 200 miles away!” There’s my hopeful logic.
“We’re going to have to get something to carry the food from those people.”
My sister was sitting in the corner. We were both shocked to hear her speak, and my brother was obviously not happy with her decision.
“You’re right.” It was an unspoken decision to let him watch the food while we scavenged amongst the bodies.
We found four backpacks, six plastic bags, and on hundred thirty-six thoughts of suicide.
“Who’s going to take the extra backpack?” It was a meaningless question, with an obvious answer. Of course I would be burdened with the weight of a small backpack; I was already carrying the responsibilities of this “family”. She handed the backpack to me, and we began out 200-mile walk.
We were 100 miles away when we saw them again. I couldn’t tell if they were the same ones, but the group of three seemed just as dysfunctional as before. I was hiding behind a tree this time. I preferred bushes.
“Where exactly are we going?” said the third one.
“Anywhere with people is fine with me.”
“But do we have any goals?”
“Yeah, eating.”
I’ve never heard them laugh before. It was more of a hiss or a cackle. Whatever it was, it was disgusting. Those things didn’t deserve happiness. They took lives from countless people to supply themselves with comfort. Their whole kind was disgusting.
One night my sister told us a story about them. I didn’t enjoy it very much. It was about some person named “Dracula.” It didn’t seem to have much relevance to today, but I rather liked the ending.
((I apologize for the several typos. Please point any out. I fixed some of the ones below, but I'd rather just be lazy and fix them in my actual copy and let you guys change it in your heads. If anyone's reading. *echo* *loneliness*
Hunger
It was dark. Why was it always dark?
That was another one of those questions that didn’t matter. It would be more important to ask, “Where am I going to get food?” or “How will I stay alive?” But no. My curiosity of unimportant things was going to get me killed one of these days.
“Pay attention.”
I looked up from my daze. She stared at me disapprovingly, and walked on. I followed. That’s all we did anymore. Walked. Searched. We rarely ever found anything. I suppose that was why we had to keep searching.
“Get down!”
Another one of our daily activities. I quickly found a nice, thick bush, and slid under its protective branches. The ground was warm; somebody else had also used this bush to his advantage.
“Quiet!”
All was silent. You couldn’t hear them coming; you never could. They were blessed with the ability to sneak up on their prey.
Perhaps “blessed” wasn’t the right word.
“I smell them.”
They also could smell clean victims a mile away. We spend an hour each day to cover up our scent, but if they get close enough, there’s no hiding it.
“What are you talking about, Eron? I don’t smell a thing.”
“You’ve lost your touch.”
“I doubt that. I smell a perfectly good group further ahead.”
A pause.
“Ah, yes. I smell it.”
“Let us go that way,” A third voice said.
We waited for ten minutes. Once we heard the screams we knew it was safe.
CHAPTER 1
“Don’t eat too much.” She said.
“Alright, alright. You never let me enjoy myself.”
“I do it because I care.”
“I’ve never heard that one before.” I replied sarcastically.
She smiled and scooped another peach out of the can. Her hair was long lost to the days of being straight and beautiful and clean. Now it could be mistaken for brown or even black because of the dirt that tinged her once-blonde hair. Her face remained bright, though.
I never could understand it.
As for her clothes, they were a mess of oversized, plaid items and, of course, covered in dirt. Every little speck helped us stay hidden.
“Can we get out of here? It’s dark,” my brother said.
“Alright.”
“I want a smoke,” she said.
“You know you cant!” I replied.
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t mean I don’t want one…”
I smiled and we continued walking. All of the doors and windows were boarded up, and a lot of it had graffiti on it. “THEY ARE COMING.” “GOT BLOOD?” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…” Funny, right? I tried to entertain myself with the writing, but humor and impending doom don’t mix well.
So now you get a bit of the picture of what we did. Everyday we found food, and escaped death. We didn’t know how we got there. From what we observed, a virus was spreading when humanity collapsed. We didn’t know any details, any people, or anything. And we were supposed to live in this world that we knew nothing about. It wasn’t fair, but there was nothing we could do.
We found a temporary home where we had enough food to last a week. There was a TV, and my brother was hopeful that he would be able to take a break from reality.
It didn’t even turn on.
“Maybe people are out there. People who sit at home and watch TV and have supper with their family and-“
“Stop. Just stop,” I couldn't listen to that kind of talk. He didn’t even know what he was talking about, “You can’t be so hopeful.”
He looked downward and shuffled his feet. My sister wasn’t so silent.
“Hey! What makes you think that being pessimistic is any better?”
“No disappointment,” I muttered. She just stared at me with a disgusting look on her face. Once I felt disappointed I realized the irony.
That was another one of those questions that didn’t matter. It would be more important to ask, “Where am I going to get food?” or “How will I stay alive?” But no. My curiosity of unimportant things was going to get me killed one of these days.
“Pay attention.”
I looked up from my daze. She stared at me disapprovingly, and walked on. I followed. That’s all we did anymore. Walked. Searched. We rarely ever found anything. I suppose that was why we had to keep searching.
“Get down!”
Another one of our daily activities. I quickly found a nice, thick bush, and slid under its protective branches. The ground was warm; somebody else had also used this bush to his advantage.
“Quiet!”
All was silent. You couldn’t hear them coming; you never could. They were blessed with the ability to sneak up on their prey.
Perhaps “blessed” wasn’t the right word.
“I smell them.”
They also could smell clean victims a mile away. We spend an hour each day to cover up our scent, but if they get close enough, there’s no hiding it.
“What are you talking about, Eron? I don’t smell a thing.”
“You’ve lost your touch.”
“I doubt that. I smell a perfectly good group further ahead.”
A pause.
“Ah, yes. I smell it.”
“Let us go that way,” A third voice said.
We waited for ten minutes. Once we heard the screams we knew it was safe.
CHAPTER 1
“Don’t eat too much.” She said.
“Alright, alright. You never let me enjoy myself.”
“I do it because I care.”
“I’ve never heard that one before.” I replied sarcastically.
She smiled and scooped another peach out of the can. Her hair was long lost to the days of being straight and beautiful and clean. Now it could be mistaken for brown or even black because of the dirt that tinged her once-blonde hair. Her face remained bright, though.
I never could understand it.
As for her clothes, they were a mess of oversized, plaid items and, of course, covered in dirt. Every little speck helped us stay hidden.
“Can we get out of here? It’s dark,” my brother said.
“Alright.”
“I want a smoke,” she said.
“You know you cant!” I replied.
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t mean I don’t want one…”
I smiled and we continued walking. All of the doors and windows were boarded up, and a lot of it had graffiti on it. “THEY ARE COMING.” “GOT BLOOD?” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…” Funny, right? I tried to entertain myself with the writing, but humor and impending doom don’t mix well.
So now you get a bit of the picture of what we did. Everyday we found food, and escaped death. We didn’t know how we got there. From what we observed, a virus was spreading when humanity collapsed. We didn’t know any details, any people, or anything. And we were supposed to live in this world that we knew nothing about. It wasn’t fair, but there was nothing we could do.
We found a temporary home where we had enough food to last a week. There was a TV, and my brother was hopeful that he would be able to take a break from reality.
It didn’t even turn on.
“Maybe people are out there. People who sit at home and watch TV and have supper with their family and-“
“Stop. Just stop,” I couldn't listen to that kind of talk. He didn’t even know what he was talking about, “You can’t be so hopeful.”
He looked downward and shuffled his feet. My sister wasn’t so silent.
“Hey! What makes you think that being pessimistic is any better?”
“No disappointment,” I muttered. She just stared at me with a disgusting look on her face. Once I felt disappointed I realized the irony.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Idea.
Freudian Slips. Something hilarious, and yet there is a more scientific part to it. When you say something that you didn't want to say, does that mean that you're thinking about what you actually said? I say sometimes yes, but most of the time no.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freudian_slip
"A Freudian slip, or parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of some unconscious ("dynamically repressed") wish, conflict, or train of thought."
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